Jon Hamm (as Abner): Here I is Alfie.
Tracy (as Alfie): Oh hell no, I ain't doin' this.
Jack (as Larry): One of these days I'm gonna cut you up in pieces and feed you to the neighbor's dogs.
Dr. Spaceman: Nine out of 10 doctors said "Who is this? Why are you calling so late?" but the 10th guy was into it.

Dr. Spaceman: Recent studies have shown that while pregnancy is disgusting, babies do not need tar or nicotine.
Jon Hamm (as Abner): I's done stoled this catfish!
Jenna: Any mysteries that need solving, Liz?
Liz: Actually yes.
Tracy: What happened? Who attacked you and gave you that haircut?
Gus: We're higher up here, so the sun's electricity is stronger.
Jack: Jenna, this is for family only.
Jenna: Now you sound like the cops outside Jackie O's funeral.
Jenna: I played Avery Jessup in Kidnapped By Danger, now available on Sega Genesis.
Tracy: I think I just solved the mystery of the phantom pooper.