Jon Hamm (as Abner): I's done stoled this catfish!

Jenna: Any mysteries that need solving, Liz?
Liz: Actually yes.
Tracy: What happened? Who attacked you and gave you that haircut?

Gus: We're higher up here, so the sun's electricity is stronger.

Jack: Jenna, this is for family only.
Jenna: Now you sound like the cops outside Jackie O's funeral.

Jenna: I played Avery Jessup in Kidnapped By Danger, now available on Sega Genesis.

Tracy: I think I just solved the mystery of the phantom pooper.

Jenna: I'm too good for this crap, like when I sang at that children's hospital.

Tracy: My love tank is empty! 

Avery: I'm sorry I taste like Korean cigarettes. Tobacco's the only thing with protein over there.

Jenna: You wear the pants Liz. You don't necessarily pull them off, because of your hips, but you wear them.