Hazel: He's only allergic to allergy medication.
Kenneth: But he loves it!
Jessica: So we're thinking the show's more like The Girls Next Door, and you're that old boat captain that shows up sometimes.
Kenneth: I'm Kenneth by the way.
Liz: Me too. I'm Kenneth...Kenneth, uh, Toilet Hole.
Jack: Whatever are you doing here, Kaylie Hooper?
Kaylie: Enjoying my total lack of adult supervision. I just had fruit roll ups for dinner.
Dennis: I got this new business where I burn your old DVDs onto laser discs.
Kenneth: I listened to rock once. But I don't worship the Devil, so I turned it off. I went "Mr. Sand-" then I switched it. 
Dennis: You know there's some things I miss about being with you...like having somewhere to hook my Sega up to.
Tracy: Roker should be on my side.
Jenna: Why? Because you both have had huge weight fluctuations?
Liz: I started eating the lettuce under my onion rings.
Jack: Bottled water? 
Hank: I'm not fancy like that, Jack If I get thirsty, I'll just drink the water from lunch I saved in my cheek.