Jack (as Larry): Bang, zoom, I'm gonna drown you in the bathtub and say a mental patient did it.
Liz: I watched like three MythBusters last night so I'm pretty exhausted, if you know what I mean.
Jenna: Oh don't be so dramatic. That's my thing, and if you take it away from me I will kill myself...and then you.
Jack: Unfortunately, unless Harry's Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.
Criss: Sent from one of my four iPads? This guy sounds amazing.
Liz: This wasn't a party!
Dennis: Tell me about it. It sucked.
Kenneth: He's the best friend I've ever had...tied with everyone I've ever met.
Jenna: I don't need any more bad luck. Do you know how many mirrors I've smashed because I thought it was a blonde woman mocking me?
Liz: Has anyone ever known a good person named Kevin?
Jack: Kevin Garnett helped me move once. Kevin Costner cooked me dinner after a bad breakup.
Banks: NBC is the Titanic.
Jack: The highest grossing movie of all time?