Colleen: If you were my kid, I'd mail you back to the stork.
Spokesman: KouchTown, sit down or get out of the way.
Gym Teacher: You weren't the only student I dated, but you were the only one who shot my wife.
Jack (as Larry): One of these days Dorris I'm gonna take a shotgun and blam, blow your face off.
Liz: Why didn't you just take the subway?
Kat: Because that's not romantic. Watch a movie Liz. Tracy: Jenna I've been thinking.
Jenna: Why? You're famous. Jon Hamm (as Abner): Here I is Alfie.
Tracy (as Alfie): Oh hell no, I ain't doin' this. Jack (as Larry): One of these days I'm gonna cut you up in pieces and feed you to the neighbor's dogs.
Dr. Spaceman: Nine out of 10 doctors said "Who is this? Why are you calling so late?" but the 10th guy was into it.
Dr. Spaceman: Recent studies have shown that while pregnancy is disgusting, babies do not need tar or nicotine.
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